the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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