So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
