So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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