You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
This girl is more easily done than said...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
