we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
