So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
