opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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