Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
