Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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