my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
