I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
