So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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