I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
