you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
