If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
