ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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