Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
