my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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