turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize