i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
