Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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