people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
