Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
