in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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