i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
