I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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