there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
