she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
