Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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