Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
