The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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