OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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