You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
