I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
