I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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