I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
