You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
