Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
