i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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