my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
