as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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