either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
