pedialite and red bull = repair kit
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
