So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
