Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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