What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
