There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
