I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
