I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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