I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
