ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
