Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
