When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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