Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
