I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
