dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
