your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Screwed.edu
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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