Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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