sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
