Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
