we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
