So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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