youre lurking in front of me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
