come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
