garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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