it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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