If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize