no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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